Santa Claus Needs Government Competition

Let’s look at this way. First of all, you have someone who is a poor example to children. He’s vastly overweight. He drinks too much and then drives a sleigh going over the speedlimit.

Santa also is a sexist who only hire male elves (don’t believe those Christmas specials. There’s NO female elves). And even the reindeer are all males. They all have antlers. And if you watch those Christmas specials, those elves work in a shop which looks very much like the sweat shops in Asia. This is absolutely appalling.

Because of this Santa needs competition in order to straighten up his act. If there is competition, the elves could actually make at least a living wage. And if unionized would do even a lot better. On top of that they could get health benefits as well as retirement.

The shops could be better for the workers and female workers would be hired.And with the unions there would be no discrimination. Also what would be stopped is any discrimination against gay elves. Of course there has to be elves who haven’t come out of the closest, but diversity would prorect them as well. Even the reindeer would be more diverse hiring some Does with the bucks.

And of course Santa would end up going on a diet since the competition created by the Government would give bids to Santa Clauses who are a lot leaner.

And Santa Claus would have to toss the idea of a naughty list. That’s just plain discriminatory. No matter what bad thing a child does during the year, he should not be prevented from getting nice gifts. In fact, to not give them gifts would hurt them emotionally. So opening up competition to a more PC Santa Claus would help that situation as well.

So let’s support creative competition for Santa Claus now so we can have a more PC Christmas next year.

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